I came to campus today to register for summer classes. I have an appointment in 45 minutes, so now I am at the library killing time, and it is all very depressing. The last time I was here was when I saw J. As I walked here all I could do was replay events in my mind. I walked down the same paths and saw the same sights as I have on so many occasions in the past, and I could almost see myself back then, at those other times. Like looking at a place through time. Back months ago when things were good . . . then after I got pregnant and they started to fall apart, but I was still sure that somehow everything would be alright. Waiting at the pavilion for him to get out of class. Passing him on the way to Calculus. This entire school is full of memories of him, and memories of thinking of him. I remember passing under a particular tree and deciding that it didn't matter if he came to his senses now or not--that he had a lifetime to do so and that I could wait, since this situation isn't one that will go away. I've just been under that tree again. And even though I don't know exactly what has changed, I no longer feel that sense of peace.
I really do not want to be here.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I was once a runway model . . . I am now a microbiology student . . . I am pregnant and alone . . . and this is what is happening to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment